Ep 67 Being Xennials and existing in Generation Z, Alpha & Beta

In this episode of The XrossroadZ Podcast, we take a fun, honest look at what it means to be Xennials watching this new generation grow up.

We thought we were coming to talk about breaking generational cycles…
but the conversation turned into a whole vibe:
✨ 90s and early 2000s nostalgia
✨ the stuff we “survived” that would get CPS called today
✨ how entertainment, fashion & freedom have changed
✨ the differences we see in Gen Z and Gen Alpha
✨ how Xennials support kids as aunties, uncles & godparents
✨ and how we can bridge generational gaps with love, not judgment

This isn’t a “bash the new kids” episode —
It’s about understanding, respecting differences, and figuring out how we can still be part of the village that raises confident, emotionally safe children.

👇🏾 Join the conversation:
What’s ONE major difference between your childhood and what you see in kids today?

📌 Subscribe for more Xennial‑centered conversations
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📌 Join Patreon for bonus minis & extended convos at www.patreon.com/thexrossroadz

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to the Crossroads Podcast.

SPEAKER_00 0:07

What's going on, everybody? It's your man Hunter Green, your personal agent for change, making life easy, Barozini. And I'm Femmepreneur Extraordinaire and Tech Diva all day, Dre Renee. And this is the crossroads, where there's only one rule: be free to be you.

SPEAKER_03 0:26

We back in May 4th. Yes, it's also Women's History Month. We just made it out of Black History Month, and we just keep the party going. Come on, women.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

Yeah, come on, women, fellas, and you know what that means. That means everything you do, you're gonna do that during women's history month. That's hilarious. I've never used that before, but hey, if it works in my back pocket, just as long as y'all take a day off on the 14th. And if y'all don't know what the 14th, yeah, it's a I'm sure somebody's in the comments, like, yeah. Yeah, if not, I'll text them. We're like, hey, don't forget the 14th, dog. For those who don't know, right? Just go to Google and type in steak and a, and I'm pretty sure it'll finish the sentence for you. They call it men men's valentine's men's Valentine's Day.

SPEAKER_03 1:31

Well, it's March is also the beginning of spring. Time is changing for some people. Um what else? March Madness. Wait, they don't they still ain't changed that with that time change, yeah. No, it's y'all still flipping back and forth every few months.

SPEAKER_00 1:52

Crazy.

SPEAKER_03 1:54

I this is my favorite time of the year, so we can just realign with the way it's supposed to be. I do, I'm not a fan of uh winter in when it comes to the regular time, yeah. Well, it just it messes up my my um meeting schedule, right? So I generally have to start an hour later than I'm used to because everything's a long Pacific. So when they fall back, I'm like, it's eight o'clock. Say what you gotta say.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

So I mean we'll be back. Well, we will be back. Yeah, I live that life normally, so you know, even it's a burden. Football season is cool because you can do whatever you can sleep in because football don't start till 12 out here, you know. Uh, but basketball, trying to catch a West Coast game, nah.

SPEAKER_03 2:56

I was in Texas trying to watch something. I was like, I don't know how y'all do this. If we was up till like one in the morning trying to see something finish, I was like, oh yeah, and then go to overtime, yeah, first take.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

Yeah, because the Lakers don't play until on home games are nine and sometimes nine thirty nine or nine: thirty.

SPEAKER_03 3:15

Yeah, you will pass midnight, and I'm like, I'll be trying to have don't let them fool around and be losing, man.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

And uh there's been several times where they'll be up, and I'm like, all right, we straight, and then I'll go to sleep and wake up the next morning and check the score, you know. Because I'll ask Alexa, what was the score? And last night the Lakers lost to I felt like that happened recently.

SPEAKER_03 3:43

I think they were playing Orlando, it was something stupid, and they were winning. And then I looked up Phoenix, you know, Orlando was coming. Oh, it was Phoenix. Okay, I was like, they were coming back, and then when I refresh, they had lost by one point. Well, they lost both of those.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

They lost they lost to um Orlando and Phoenix in you know, in the last uh minute. So yeah, get it together, Lakers. More than anything, I need Luca and LeBron to get back on on D and stop crying off to every that ooh, every car they're crying. I'm like, bruh. So, but that ain't what we came to talk about.

SPEAKER_03 4:18

We're gonna talk a little bit about crying. I mean, not there's nothing wrong with crying, let me not say that, but maybe maybe more whining um with these with these generational differences. But I wanted to stop and acknowledge the great Pat Riley getting his statue unveiled at Staple Center or whatever they're calling it these days.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

Yeah, uh oh, crypto crypto, crypto.com. Man, it's the staple center.

SPEAKER_03 4:42

I don't care what mama call them staples, mama call them staples.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

You know, I'm saying the house that Kobe built, so that's right, that's right. You know, I mean they say Shaq, whichever depends on both.

SPEAKER_03 4:58

I I respect, respect Kobe got more ring in there, you know.

SPEAKER_00 5:02

I love them both.

SPEAKER_03 5:03

True, true, true, right?

SPEAKER_00 5:05

Did you see Pat uh get on their case? He was like, Um, because James Worse is the only one that wore a tie, and he was like, I wore a tie, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:13

My proper respects, yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

Pat did not play, and he he's still with what they call him the coolest white man in the world. I love it, I love it, yeah. So, yeah, shout out to Riles. Um, definitely a legend. They ain't gonna have no more room for no more statues out there, is you know, yeah, like move you can move that de la Hoya statue. What you out there for?

SPEAKER_03 5:37

I do not probably put you think they'll put LeBron out there once it's said and done, or they'll say that's a good, that's a good question.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

I don't know. Like, he did win a ring. I think I think just because of his status throughout the league, I think his jersey might get retired in all three arenas.

SPEAKER_02 5:56

Yeah, that would be appropriate.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

Yeah, that'll be appropriate. I don't know. I'll say this. I think a lot of people I mean, I wouldn't be mad at it. Let's just say I wouldn't be mad, but I think there'll be a lot of people in LA that will be against it because it wouldn't like he spent his whole career there, you know what I mean? Or I think a lot of people will say he didn't do enough as a Laker to have his jersey retired there. But I think Shaq got got retired in Miami and did he get his jersey retired in Miami?

SPEAKER_03 6:30

I think so.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

Don't give me the line, but I think he got uh he got it so Miami and LA. Um I wonder how many players got their jerseys retired in in multiple arenas.

SPEAKER_03 6:45

But yeah, so yes, he did. Um seems like in 2016. Got you, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:53

So you know, and he only so and Shaq only got one ring in Miami, so you know, but then again, yeah, I'm just saying, like when you're that type of player, right? Even if you didn't do yeah, but he also only got one ring in Cleveland, too. Um, LeBron, he only got one in Cleveland, one in Cleveland, right? But uh he only needed one, yeah. Yeah, but then right, but but LA is just is different. Like you come to LA, you're expected to win. It ain't no, you know, like, hey, we hope he gets one, like nah. That's not what you hear.

SPEAKER_03 7:29

And he got it uh retired. I I thought so, but I wanted to check. He uh got his jersey retired in Orlando too. Shaq did, so he he has his uh he's retired in three different places, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

So if Shaq did, then I'm I'm pretty certain LeBron will. But you know, and he whatever no rings in Orlando in Orlando, but clearly put them, you know, and he and he and he should have. I just I wonder here's the hard part if Shaq would have stayed, and if Penny would have stayed healthy, right, Orlando would have been something else. Game of the game of but we wouldn't have had Shaq and Kobe. And I wonder what Penny would have been, like if Penny never got hurt, who who would be have Penny or Kobe? You know what I mean? Because before Kobe came, Penny was was one of my favorite players, if not my favorite play. Like Penny was so if any youngsters is listening to this and you don't know about Penny Hardaway, man, go look at go look at the tapes. But and and I don't want this to turn into a whole sports episode, but I do have to mention this as we talk about sports. But Tim Hardaway got a clip talking about he would have gave Kobe the business one on one one on one. And I'm like, sir, sir, sir, sir. Which is look, the UTEP two step was sick. You know, Tim Tim was cold, but come on, Tim. You you you went, don't do that to yourself. You weren't cold. We we've seen Kobe lock up AI and AI take the crossover to the next level. And for those of y'all watching, I ain't talking about the fine 2001 finals, right? Everybody was like, he they such and such the next day. We're not talking about the series, right? But there have been games, it was I specifically remember seeing that game when they put Kobe on AI and Kobe locked him up. So y'all better put some respect on the Mamba.

SPEAKER_03 9:36

Put some respect on the Mama.

SPEAKER_00 9:39

So what we what we actually came to talk about today, it's definitely generational, you know. It wasn't a sports episode, but we are talking about breaking cycles, you know what I mean, and just like sports, you know, there are cycles and records broken and a new regime coming in, and we do talk about the different eras um in sports, but there's also different eras in life, right? Yeah, we talk uh extensively about you know our time and our young years, and I will argue to my death that the 90s was the greatest decade ever, and like hands down, bar none. There is no argument or debate that the 90s was the greatest decade for RB, for RB music, right? There is no, I don't care, right? Argue with your mama. The 90s was the greatest decade for RB, but more than that, like the 90s was such a great decade for fashion, um, for for entertainment, for television, TV and movies, just uh black culture specifically. The 90s was crazy, you know what I mean. When you have shows like the Cosby show, which is the first black show that showed two successful parents living in an affluent neighborhood and raising a family, it was the first show that wasn't about poverty and struggle, you know what I mean, but real family issues, and the backdrop was not about being black, it was we're a family who happened to be black, and the dad is a doctor and the mom is a lawyer. Like you did not see that, but then the spinoff being a different world where one I think we saw except with the exception of Rudy, we saw all of the kids go off to college, and we didn't see Rudy go to college because she just wasn't old enough by the time the show ended. She wasn't whether they finished or not, like, but they did different things, like Sandra was you know off to law school and didn't want to go to law school, and I think she didn't she go to like Yale or something. I think she went to a IB Princeton, and then Denise went off to a HBCU, and um Theo, I think, was at NYU, and then I don't remember what school Vanessa went to, but like y'all, it wasn't you know what I'm saying? Oh, we can't afford to send you to I think like they dealt with things. Vanessa went off and got married in college. Denise dropped out and got married. Uh Theo had dyslexia, you know.

SPEAKER_03 12:23

Yeah, Sandra didn't want to and overcame that because he still he wound up going to yeah, he wound up going to college, and then um I think the the final episode he had gotten accepted for his master's, right? Like he was graduating from college, but he had gotten into a math program, so that was yeah, pretty cool. Now, granted, those two shows started in the 80s. We gotta give the 80s their props, yeah, yeah, ended in the 90s, but you know, now but different world was firmly into the 90s, though. Yes, they started. I I want to say 8089, maybe they were still in the 80s, but it was very it was like tail end, right? And then they went, um, they went in because that that first season that nobody wants to watch, right? Like, I think that was still in the 80s, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

It's you know, it it picked up, but what that show did for uh black colleges, black college culture, and black college.

SPEAKER_03 13:21

Oh shoot, it actually started in 1987. Oh, different world September 24th, 1987. Look at that. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

It's starting to feel like it's closer to we can yeah, and we can recall the episodes and the stuff, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:40

But because the last season, if you remember, right? The the uh season premiere was around Dwayne and Whitley getting married and having their honeymoon in LA during the riots, so that would have at least have been 92, and that was the last uh that was the last season, so yeah, they had been rocking for a moment. Okay, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

And that's crazy, like how some shows we remember them being longer than they were, like the run, for instance. Like, this isn't this isn't a black show, but as a kid, one of my favorite shows was The Greatest American Hero, right? Okay, and um, I still remember the song and all this other stuff, and I remember watching it as a kid, and you get older and realize the show was only one season, right? But when you're young, it just seemed things seem way longer, you know what I mean? And then it's like it was literally a season, like it wasn't even a year of your life, but I still remember the song, believe it or not. Um walk in on there. I never thought I could feel so free. Uh I can do the whole thing, but yeah, like yeah, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 14:54

So I I have I don't even know what it is, but I was like, it said it came out the year I was born. I was like, Oh, I don't know what this is, yeah, especially if it was only one season.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

I yeah, I wouldn't even aware myself, so I definitely remember, and I wasn't that old, so um, but I say that to say, like, life today is so much different, and I'm not gonna say better or worse. We had a great time in the 90s, like going to school was fun, like being being like we didn't have so. I guess some of the differences like we didn't have binge watching culture, right? Because there was no streaming, so right, right back then. If you had if you wanted to watch a show, not only did you so not every show that's not bingeable that comes on every week, they're still on demand, right? You can watch it whenever you want during the week, yeah. We couldn't do that. Like, if you wanted to catch Cosby show one and done Thursday night, eight o'clock, you better be at your TV. Sat down, and whatever you miss, you couldn't rewind it, you couldn't pause it. It wasn't coming over.

SPEAKER_03 16:12

Unless you had no VHS, right? Unless you recorded it on VHS, okay. Not even there's no DVDs, there was none of no T Rows, nothing.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

You had listen, and so the it's like and everybody's talking about it the next day. So spoiler you had to pack it, you know, yeah, and unless you caught a rerun, but you never knew when that it's all this one a rerun, you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_03 16:39

And the show pretty much had to go into syndication before that, like or or maybe during like a hiatus or something, maybe they would show it.

SPEAKER_00 16:46

Yeah, before between the seasons, like they'll yeah, they'll do the reruns, but like nah, if you didn't catch it, you didn't catch it, and ooh, the wedding, the wedding episode. I think everybody caught that one.

SPEAKER_03 17:00

Like, if you missed the wedding episode on different world, because yeah, if you wasn't able to come back to school talking about baby, please, a super iconic line, but it's you know, the nostalgia and speaking of which, you know, they're doing uh they're doing a reboot, or I don't know if it's a reboot or a sequel or uh whatever they want to call it, the new new generation of um a different world. I don't know if you had heard that, but what what do you think, right? Like taking you know our favorite characters from the late 80s, early 90s. Um, looks like they are bringing some of them back. They are centering this around Dwayne and Whitley's youngest child, which I was like, I feel like unless they had a kid in old age, not old age, but like older, I'm like, I feel like this ship has sailed, but it's TV, so you can do whatever you want.

SPEAKER_00 17:58

But the thing, yeah, you can do whatever you want, but if you had a kid, they would be well into their 30s and 40s until I think we bypass this, not unless they their kid is a professor, yeah. Unless they have they are professor now, but the father would be grandpa wang, but not right, not I don't I don't want and Whitley. I'm not gonna say Jasmine Guy didn't age well, it was just that we didn't know she was so much older back then. So we thought, you know, we're looking at she playing the college student, then we see her later, and it's like, oh, okay, you know, but um I don't I don't want to see that. I don't want to see bottom line, I have yeah, and it's only and uh yeah, I think let me say this it's not that oh I don't want to see it, I just I don't want to see it done wrong. I'm afraid because it was so perfect, right? Like those shows were just ah, and then how do you do that? How do you bring it back and it's still relevant and poignant and effective? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 19:14

Well, I think the gotcha is that it'll be relevant for a new generation. Like, I don't think it'll be relevant for us, like unless they have some backstories about again, you know, yeah, Whitley and Dwayne, how they've been, you know, carrying on. It looks like Kim Reese is back, um, whether for an episode or two, I think Freddie. So having them there may give us a little something, but watching, you know, new characters in general is always a little hard. You're like, who are I don't care about y'all, but and then they're going to be much younger tackling subject matter of today in college, right? Like we had AIDS. But what would that be?

SPEAKER_00 19:59

Because what did they have?

SPEAKER_03 20:00

COVID, like we had it's like we did AIDS, and then we got AIDS, we got you know, domestic violence. I mean, domestic violence unfortunately is still a thing, but you know, they had that in those episodes, yeah. But I I don't yeah, today well, you know, they're going to likely touch on um uh probably same-sex relationships or um that comes gender identification.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

I don't think you can think that was something that we yeah, that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_03 20:35

Like they and they didn't do it back then. Oh, they absolutely didn't uh Debbie Allen talk about the fact they couldn't even have condoms, you know, openly on camera, like they had to allude to like point to the wallet or whatever stuff you you know used to do, and so now yeah, you have the ability to portray and show all different characters and um situations, and so I mean, yeah, like thinking about the freedom of this generation, right? Like they are just so but but for generations, they're so free, they talk about things they want to, they show whatever, and we're always like, is this okay?

SPEAKER_00 21:19

Okay, but let's let's challenge that though, because do they really have the freedom? Now, yes, they talk and touch on issues that they didn't before, but I can't necessarily say that it's freedom because those who don't necessarily subscribe to some of the subject matter can't speak up because they'll get canceled. See, there was no cancel culture back then.

SPEAKER_03 21:44

Well, I guess it's free, it's freedom for some, and maybe it's not freedom on both sides, but if if you go from not being able to show a condom on TV to flat out having um, you know, representation. Of um, you know, same-sex relationships, marriages, uh, sexual situations, like, you know, it's not even alluding to, it's like we're looking at it. And so whether you know that's something that you are for or against, there is a freedom to do it, right? Like you're not gonna have your show canceled for the most part, I don't think, um, by telling the stories or um having the characters that um provide that type of uh you know representation for all and I think maybe maybe it's such a re it's just a regime change in entertainment, right?

SPEAKER_00 22:35

Like maybe we consider who was running things back then versus who's running things now, you know, and there's so many different platforms, and the way that we so network TV is pretty much a thing of the past, like you know what I mean. I don't know, I was yeah, because they're they do all kind of stuff that's like, oh, is this yeah, is this but I don't even know, like I can't remember the last time now that I'm thinking about that, you just turned on the TV and turned to a channel, right? We don't do that anymore, we turn into a streaming service or you know, your fire like you're getting your channel, your network TV through a different means, right? But it's not like hey, channel four, this is what's on at this time, you know.

SPEAKER_03 23:19

Like they still have it to hashtag who he watches the the the news.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

We have we literally have antennas so he can pick up the local chat that's why and you don't have to do that, you can still get it through a device, right, or a streaming service, could but I'm just letting you know you know somebody who's gonna go old school. Shout out to the engineers of the world, right?

SPEAKER_03 23:41

Yeah, but so I just think but I hear what you're saying by and large. No, we're we're not going, you know, two, four, five, seven, nine.

SPEAKER_00 23:50

Yeah, and a lot of people don't even watch the news anymore. Like a lot of people will sooner watch or or go on social media, right? And you know, or something such and such happened, it wasn't on TMZ, and the fact that TMZ is looked at as a reputable news outlet is crazy to me, you know what I mean? Like, they're a tabloid, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:14

But it's like, oh, if it so do they have the news, yes, some people are yeah, or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 24:21

Well, they do, but do they? It's like I just TMZ is not bound to journalistic integrity, they can say whatever, and you know, if they get it wrong, they can be like, I we're a tabloid, though. You know what I mean? So that's why they are able to break news first because they don't they don't have to really fact check, to be honest. Now, I don't know if that's changed as far as their stature of being uh an actual news outlet, they just happen to report the news. But when you look at things they report, you know, oh, we saw the so our cameramen are at the airport waiting for celebrities to come through, you know, right? But yeah, but people and and I think it's a dangerous thing because we trusted news more when we were young versus because anybody can report anything on social media, you know, and now you you have to spend more time trying to prove whether or not something is true versus just getting the information, like you know, we actually had to go get the newspaper, and it's like, oh, it's in the paper, and we never question its validity because it's in the paper, right? Oh, it's in the paper, yeah. Yeah, they the news reported it, it has to be true. This this really happened, but now it's like you see something, you would see something, and then we would believe it. But then as time goes on, now we're in a point to where we got to question if that's even real, you know, because anybody has access to post and say anything nowadays, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:57

So it's sure it looks literally a different world um these days, and so you know, just thinking about the things that are different uh over the years, you know, we talk a lot about kids these days glued to their electronics, but so are we, um, but you know, glued to their electronics and not really getting out to play or socialize. Um, very rarely do I encounter uh a child or definitely like a teenager that articulate themselves in terms of you know, maybe introducing themselves, looking you in the eye, you know, smile smile or at least pleasant disposition, um, without it being you know awkward. And I, you know, I think our parents trained us in that way. Sometimes it probably would be uncomfortable. We would probably look back at it now like, oh, you shouldn't be forced to talk to people that you don't want to talk to, and all those things, but it's all training ground, right? If you can't now sit in in an interview and introduce yourself and talk about the things that are great about you and why you would be an asset or just carry on a general conversation, that could be um a detriment. So, do you think and not to say like everything that was done regarding us was 100% right, and everything that's done now is wrong, but you know, where where do you see some of the differences that maybe we can bring back? We can sprinkle a little in on out.

SPEAKER_00 27:41

Bring back, I don't know, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 27:44

I think we too far along, like leave it, leave it where it is.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

Well, because because they would have to, yeah, it's too far gone, and you have to consider like their mode of communication. I even just told the story in the conversation in the call that I had before we were recording. Um uh when I was uh still a principal, I had to speak to one of the teachers about something, right? And you know, us if you put something in writing to us, that's formal. Like it's in writing, you know. If we got an email or a letter, it's like, ugh, you could you could have talked to me, you know, you could have came and talked to me about this instead of emailing it, right? Because it's it was right, it was hella formal to us, right? So I went to this teacher's classroom, and you know, I was like, hey, blah blah blah blah blah, you know, whatever, whatever conversation I had to have. And she was like, You could have just said that in an email, right? Because to them, coming to talk to you was our email, it was a problem if I'm coming to talk to you. Uh email is whatever because they looked at emails, their primary mode of communication is electronic. If it's email, if it's text, if it you know what I mean, they communicate normally through their electronics. So me coming to her alarmed her more than me sending something in right, like put it in right. I don't care, like you know what I mean. So it was such a shift for me, like you know, having to manage this team of electronic communicators because I'm a verbal communicator, and you know, it's like having to learn a lot of their mindsets, and it transitions into so many different things to where uh they're this generation has far more influences than we do, hence, influencer is now a job, you know what I mean. So, even like this weekend when we were at the competition, you know, my goddaughter's like, you know, she's talking to her mom, like, oh mom, there were some celebrities there, and she was like, you know, we have different definitions of celebrities, right? Well, you're talking about are influencers, you know. So we you know, we make that distinction. And I saw some people there, and people were lining up and taking pictures, and I don't know who they were, but because they're who are these people, yeah. I don't know what they do, and they they at this cheer competition, but it's it's what they what they value is is so much different, right? Where we we longed for in-person interaction, we wanted to do like I don't hear kids asked to spend the night over their friends' house, you know what I mean? Even working at a school, you didn't hear like, oh, I spent the night over such and such house. Why when they can just FaceTime and chat and they play like, or can I go over to my friend's house to play video games or have friends come over to play video games? They don't do that anymore because you're playing video games together remotely from somewhere else, they get the headset and the you know what I mean. So yeah, they're gonna be able to do it.

SPEAKER_03 31:05

Also, um, no, no, I was gonna say, and then also their parents, which who could potentially be our age or a little bit older, right? And the distrust of allowing your kids to go, and I mean, I think our parents were like that too, um, but we still got to do it. So maybe I think they exerted a little more control. I'll just say mine did by by being the community house, right? So, you know, everybody could come over here. Um, I got to do a lot of things with my cousins and select friends, church friends, right? Like the people that we were in a tight, so you didn't just like spend the night um with people that you went to school with, right? Like what you met by happy stays. Like we got to know the whole family, but I think nowadays because who knows the whole family?

SPEAKER_00 31:55

Yeah, who knows the whole family?

SPEAKER_03 31:58

I thought about it with my um my niece now. Maybe you know, maybe my sister would know more because it's her actual child, but uh or when she was a child, but you know, the whole my friend. I'm going over my friend's house, or I'm hanging with my friend. Who is your friend? Who does this person have a name? Yeah, who are they people, right? And so they do that's cool. It's a lot of that, yeah. It's just a lot of labels, and then I remember, you know, my mom would always say, like, everybody's not your friend, so you you couldn't even give a label to somebody because we don't know them. Who are they?

SPEAKER_00 32:36

Yeah, and and now even us, you know, we have friends, really, really good friends that we've never met in person, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, people have full-on friendships and everything else, and never have met in person, and I think that raises concerns because you you know, like, oh, this is my friend from social media, and it's like, oh, we friends, oh, we meeting up at uh are they are they you know, are they real? And so there's I think there's way more social concerns now than it was when we were young, like we've said this before, but baby boomers listen, they parent we we love our parents, we love our parents, but anytime a commercial was was directed at an entire generation because they don't know where their kids are 10 o'clock every night, it's 10 o'clock. Do you know where your children are? But we would literally be out, right? Just gone, and we can be anywhere in the neighborhood or and sometimes the city, you know what I mean. And the only thing we knew is we had to be back by a certain time, and we didn't have to be told to be back by that time, you know. Now, depending on the distance you were going or how long you wanted to stay, then you communicate with your parents. I never told my parents where I was going, we were just outside, you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_03 34:10

Yeah, and since I'm a little younger, that that was not my experience. I mean, I'm not far removed from that, but kidnapping was a real, real thing, and so they they have cracked down. I mean, they needed to be able to step outside on the porch or at the very least in the in the grass and be able to look oh yeah, look down the street.

SPEAKER_02 34:32

We was not and know where you where you were, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:36

But yeah, I think for my parents, especially yeah, in our community in Carson, it was they may not be able to see you, but it's only so many places you're gonna be, you know what I mean. So for us, if we wasn't on the because we didn't have cell phones, we didn't have pagers, like you you better be where you said you was gonna be, or where you but if they but if they if they had to come get you, they knew my parents knew where to go, you know what I'm saying. So we either playing basketball, we at the homie Hassan or Corey house around the corner, or I was, you know, maybe the farthest we might go, we went to the mall, you know, or we at some friend's house. But if we needed to check, or is that my godmother's house? But you know, you some of us you knew to call home and check in, like, hey, I'm blah blah blah blah blah, or you knew when to be home, you know, typically street lights, you know. So my curfew was don't get your ass beat. That was basically lag. What time was that? It's it's more of a feeling than it was an actual time, right? You know, but I think kids now um they don't desire to go outside.

SPEAKER_03 35:48

No, it's like you don't like playing video games, right? TikToks, I can't now it's probably more than that. I don't even know if kids do video games as much as they do social.

SPEAKER_00 35:58

I wonder how many and put in the comments if you have children, do they know how to ride a bike? And not only and not only do they if do they know how to ride a bike, do they have a bike, right? Because when we was growing up, not having a bike is like an adult not having a car, like everybody had a bike, you gotta have a bike, you know what I mean. And nowadays, cell phones are the new bike, like everybody's got one, you know. And so, you know, back in the day, you you jump on your bike and you go where you're going, you had transportation, you know, or you just up and up and down the street and everybody's on their bike. And if you didn't have a bike, you was on you was on the handlebar, and you did not want to be the one on the handlebars, you know, or if you had the uh the dirt bike, some sometimes somebody had the pegs, so you can uh stand on the pegs on the back. But yeah, yeah, yeah. It's I and I try not to, and I and I wish older people would stop doing this to kids when we compare our life, our childhood with theirs, right? We tend to be like, Oh, y'all don't know about this, as if to say our childhood was better, it's different, they don't care about our childhood, they weren't they weren't there to experience it to be able to say, Oh man, this was better, like yeah, but I do think it's fun, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:25

I do think it's fun to show them items from the 90s and say, like, you know what this is, you know what this used to do, and they're like, Oh no, trying to think back to like an eight-track or things like that, where I was like had the same thought process. What is or CDs for that matter?

SPEAKER_00 37:45

Yeah, where does it go? How does it happen?

SPEAKER_03 37:46

Oh, yeah, oh god, yeah, they never gone through so many things, even like iPods, which were like you know, oh yeah, iPod life changing, what yeah, and now they do everything on the phone. It's like, what is what's the need for this little extra device?

SPEAKER_00 38:06

Exactly, exactly. They don't, you know. Uh, we talk about don't text and drive when we had a whole book of CDs in our lap, come on, yeah, I don't know. Six or ten disc changer, you know.

SPEAKER_02 38:23

You oh god bless and put it on shuffle, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:27

Yeah, you was you was duping if you had that, but I don't know, it was just um we just did things that were different, and I would love for kids to have experienced what we experienced, but that's just not where their interest lies, and I don't want to say bitter or also to be fair to them, let me just say this I I hope for kids is that they actually get to be kids, right?

SPEAKER_03 38:55

We may have may do things differently, but I think so many of them are and maybe us too, but just in a different way, but they are forced to grow up and be responsible for, and I think you were saying, even in pre-production, are exposed to things so much earlier that it just like the innocence of and the ignorance is bliss, like they don't really get that, and so you know, and it's crazy because being outside and playing with your friends and just kind of being oblivious to things is not something that you know many uh are afforded these days, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:37

And I wonder, I don't know the line, you know, as far as parenting goes, right? Because it's like you can try to shield your your kid from things that are on the internet, you know. You may be that parent that no, I'm not getting my kid a phone, you know, they're not getting a social media account. But two things, kids are so much smarter than we were, right? And yeah, you know, it's like you go to school, they know all the proxy sites, and then they create accounts from school on the computer. Some of them get little burner phones, um, some use their friends' phones and switch accounts, you know, um, things that you don't want them to see, they'll they see, you know, because they're right, right. And so when I was working at the school, I had to tell parents all the time, you are not your kid's only influence, you know what I mean? It's like you would teach them one thing and then they go sit next to little Johnny in class. Well, my dad said this, you know, and then you got a teacher, you know, who teachers don't always sometimes keep things unbiased or their personal opinions out of the classroom, and you know, they impress upon you know the kids their views, you know, or you could be a trusted adult and the kid is talking to you about they're confiding in you, and you know, you're telling them this, or you the school counselor, or there's just so many different people, or even if you go to a family member's house and a family member doesn't see life through the lens that you see it, right? And you know, auntie and uncle that can be a dangerous thing because you know, like I forgot where I saw this, but they were like, aunties are the uh parenting side piece, right? They just the side parent, yeah. Because it's like you know, you mad at you mad at mom and dad. So where you go, auntie or uncle, and usually auntie, right? Aunties are more prominent than uh, but it's like auntie, they they tripping again they da da da da da da da da, and you know, here come you know, here I come to save the day, you know. So I'm going over TT house, you know, or whatever, right?

SPEAKER_03 41:48

And so yeah, kids will listen to TT, throwing us out there, yeah, yeah. We gotta try to not anger our sibling and don't break trust with the kid and be the cool you gotta be you want to be the cool auntie, uncle, but also it's like ah, you know, and that's a hard position to be in because you don't want to break trust, but you can't.

SPEAKER_00 42:14

There's just certain things like I can't not say something, you know, and yeah, then you the only one they told. Then you go to the parent, and the parent has to do something, and you can't be like, Don't tell them I told you, like don't tell them you know your sibling don't your sibling don't care about you keeping trust with the kid, like uh uh no don't if I gotta be the bad guy, you coming too. We all right, yeah, yeah. Nino, everybody going down, you know what I'm saying? So it's um yeah, it's it's crazy, but you definitely you gotta be the internet to the punch, and you it's you have to frame things so where they they don't understand it because if you don't get there first, then you're gonna have to be undoing a whole lot of things that you know they saw, and it's and it's just different, and then you you think you want to be the parent that kids come and talk to you, but okay, so my goddaughter had got me watching Black Lightning, that's our show right now, right? And I just saw the episode where the youngest daughter comes in the kitchen and is like having this conversation with the parents. She goes, It was I decided I wanted to start having sex, right? And you're like, like, what? At least she goes, Yeah, it's it's uh this was the last episode that I saw. She goes, Yeah, um, it's it's happening Saturday. Like, I'm going, I'm going now, it's gonna happen Saturday. And it's like, wait, what? And so, and where she got them was because they was trying to talk her out of it, like, oh,

SPEAKER_03 44:00

too young blah blah she goes well well how old were you two and they just got this look on their face like oh snap yep and that part you know and that can be a whole you know another episode about parenting you know specifically and passing things down or not but yeah when you think about the things that you went through good or bad um you know for the most part we got you know we got through them and so we don't want our children nieces nephews younger cousins or whatever to like go through things but it's the going through you know that that has made us who we are and so we can't keep them from you know and thinking about it is sucks you know like heartbreak or you know um the things you can't friends talking about you behind your back at school you know the stuff that feels like the end of the world but it really isn't now there's plenty of stuff that really is really for them to go through but yeah this the stuff that you know you go through as a young kid or teenager or or whatnot it's like we can't keep them we can't bow wrap them through life you know you just have to um prepare them as best you can and and be there for them um and then share I think sharing some of the things that you went through um can be important too if they look at us and feel like oh you know you never did anything wrong or you never got in trouble you can't understand you can't relate yeah we did but I think one of the biggest differences for our generation is we had the advantage of plausible deniability with a lot of things right no social no photos no videos right and so it's like you might have wrote a little racy right racy note you know let a little letter to to your boo like oh he's gonna do this you know trying to be nasty and fast and all this other stuff but you uh unless your parents is one of them snoopers in your room going in there to read stuff you know and that's if you kept it shout out to the snoopers right yeah but now it's like you make one decision that can last forever and I don't know how many times I've had to deal with some little girl wanting to be loved andor accepted andor cool and sends a photo to her little boyfriend and that's not even when it goes south sometimes now he wanna feel cool and be like man hey look look look now you showing her off to the homies you know and or sending it and the thing is you know I just y'all I really encourage you if if if you have children right and I'm not even gonna say just daughters please talk to them about that like once you send something I don't care how you feel about them I don't care if this the greatest little boy in the world or the greatest do not take that picture and do not hit singing can go south and the road to hell is paved with good intentions you know what I'm saying so it's not even a matter of whether they sent it kids lose phones you know what I'm saying yep anything can happen but all always somebody wants to show somebody right like we just live in a world where everybody wants at least one person to know look what I have look what I you know get look what yeah validation is the new currency validation is the new currency because if you so like the picture is being sent for a form of validation then the picture is being shown for a sense of validation anything they post on social media and even adults like now it's you know people are posting for engagement and and they'll say anything and make up stories and or say something nasty so that people will respond and engage so they'll get paid but people more so are are more concerned about likes than anything oh how many likes you know and and literally get mad like oh you didn't like my post you didn't like my picture I didn't know I had to I I mean I liked the picture why you didn't click like I didn't I didn't know I had to like why do I got you know I'm saying how does that change your day you know it because it's not my like you got plenty of likes look at there there's 102 likes what is mine gonna do they want yours on all the likes right give me all the likes I don't want to be left behind yeah no likes left behind I mean yeah it feels good if you know you post a picture and you know there is that that that dopamine hit right but y'all it's it's not real life you still gotta go to work tomorrow you know what I'm saying you gotta go to work tomorrow but yeah that's but that's the world we live in and it's just so much different and one y'all I apologize for the the sniffling and coughing I'm doing I think my body's trying to fight off something so I'm uh you know medicate this evening go make one of my daddy's famous hot toddies uh shout out to that that's another thing too when you think southern remedies right so um you know final thoughts on yeah I'm like generational cycles how do we wrap this up I know I'm like I got to think I'm looking up trying to figure it out I I don't know that you wrap it up I mean time just continues to roll um nothing is constant but change uh I don't think we really got into um support of new newer generations but it's so important even though we do have differences um and at this point some very huge ones right the type of music we listen to or entertainment um that we um watch or involve ourselves in uh down to you know even the the foods um that we or the way that we engage like we grew up sitting around the table eating our dinner more times than not like when we got to eat in front of the TV and TV trays and that type of thing like it was special. Now it's like everybody just come get it whenever you know there's so many things that are different.

SPEAKER_00 51:08

But one thing that I think um never changes from generation to generation is that um the children need us you know or teens need us young adults need us so wherever you fall in line at this point like to consider myself in the middle is wild you know but there are still people that are able to mentor me which I appreciate um I shout out you know the women that particularly that are in their 50s uh and maybe early 60s like you're still kind of you know you're younger than my parents um but older you know old enough to have uh lived a little longer than I have and experienced some things that I haven't and so I appreciate wisdom from those women who look at me and uh can see something um in me worth um pouring into um but also you know treating me as um as a a friend uh in some instances um in some we are colleagues we may be working together um and so it's just important I think to always pour into even if it's not a formal mentoring relationship I think being there and more importantly not being a hater like the one thing I and I tell you I a mean old bra like I can't stand you okay so if you have an issue with the fact that you getting up there and you're looking back and seeing what could have been through somebody else and and you mean and upset and rude them you need to have a seat um because what's needed really is encouragement and love and calling people higher right we we may look at the next generation or or the next ones and feel like oh I don't understand why they do things like that is is it's okay to ask right we may want to you know tell me a little bit more about this um but many times I think you know we've done it too whether playfully or like we're literally only concerned with what we like I don't want to know what why you listen to mumble rap because why they mumble it right but maybe I don't and I don't know maybe there are some artists or some music um these days that that we could bond over or find that we like um together knowing that you have a show now that you're watching with your goddaughter right like me you know how can we meet in the middle I'm not gonna understand everything you do I'm not gonna like everything you do I don't have to hate it um or hate on it or hate you because of it um and what can I share with you in the sorority space I share with um older and younger sources the same right create opportunities to bring others into your your world right so if we you know everything can't be going down to the lounge or the wine bar and and and drinking you know for some people they don't drink or maybe they're past the age where that's appealing um you know the the season soars like a good old line dance or they like a good bingo or whatever create the opportunity and invite folks along right like we're not gonna just automatically be into what you're into because you're into it but we may because we want to be or spend time with you right and so I think the connection of people is so very important and then that that generational part we'll realize that we are more alike than we are different um if we allow ourselves to just you know be human and and connect so I'll try to find a way to bring all the things together because you can I mean we could talk about this yeah in a million different ways yeah um my final thoughts you ain't better than nobody I like it right simple you ain't better than nobody and I know everybody loves like I hear my dad's childhood stories and oh we you know we used to we used to hunt and we used to da da da da da da okay cool great you know and then we had our thing we played outside and we rode bikes and we played Nintendo and Sega you know you know and played basketball and stuff we we we had our thing and this generation has our thing and I just I detest people that shame young people for living in a world that they created we created this world right we we look at them and forget we're the one raising them you know what I mean that part I think Xennials um Gen X and and millennials alike have this thing that we always want our kids we're we're trying so hard to solve our trauma through how we're raising our kids and we don't want our kids to experience what we experience and we don't want our kids to go without the things that we went out went without right and to a degree that's great but then also to sometimes to a detriment you know what I mean because you do have kids that don't know how to do some very important things important things yeah you know what I mean um their self-sufficiency is a bit lower than our generation and then I've seen you know my friends with parents turn around and complain about how needy their kids are you know and so it's like we can't create you know you can't create a monster and then be mad when it's eating people and so you know we do our generation does have the the need to be our children's friend you know I think that there's an important level to that open communication and that and that bond but when you don't have that line when you can't draw the line yeah then it can become a problem so it's like consider the things that kids don't know right but that can't be full stop why don't they know this you know or what's the need to this generation like I I tell the story often where I had a coworker who was shaming a kid because they didn't know how to tell time on a clock on an analog clock and I'm like we're at a school right so how do you shame a kid at a school for something if I don't know it that means they weren't taught yeah so whose failure is that is it the kids you know what I mean but then in a world where they are surrounded by digital clocks watches cell phones and computers that are all synced why do they need that for critical thinking stop it right who who invented who invented digital clocks you know what I mean and more than that did the sundial people shame the analog clock people right did did the people the position of the sun people shame the sundial people no right we we keep creating a means of making life easier and more convenient right do the oven people shame the microwave people right now if you ain't got a microwave in your house like what are you doing then it's the air fryer we keep creating ways to make things faster and more efficient yeah and that's the world that our children live in they live in a fast paced efficient society what is the quickest way from a to b right no they're not gonna read an encyclopedia because we created Google for them right they're not writing you know they they don't oh they don't even know how to write cursive you don't even know how to write cursive anything when is this last time you sat down and hand wrote something in cursive for that matter you know what I'm saying and it's like oh what if they need to write their signature you don't you don't need signature does not mean cursive it means a unique mark you can write an X and that's your signature you know what I mean yeah and and how many signatures are even legible we spent when we in middle school we was practicing oh this is gonna be my signature and it was never legible you couldn't tell what that's yeah even when it's some faint little yeah that was you like that like a doctor because you know doctor signatures you'd be like wait what yeah so it's like stop like it's it's okay to let go we had our time the 90s were amazing but it's okay to let go it's okay to reminisce it's okay to have conversations like we just had today but this is not our time anymore it's gone our time is gone right and there's a new era there's a new stage of life for us and it's scary you know why because we don't know the the technology and the things that we need to know our kids are more advanced than us in the things that we don't know and so we're trying to reach back right and you know we get frustrated when we don't know technology or a program or AI this or blah blah blah blah blah and which is why I try to have empathy you know I think everybody gets frustrated when they're trying to show their parents something on their phone or the computer but think about the things that you don't know right and this this is a world that they don't know at all they lived yeah you know their childhood into adulthood and then you know senior citizens all in they became senior citizens in an analog world Gen X is the first generation that went from we're the bridge generation that went from analog to digital hence the crossroads that's that's the purpose of this show is that we're talking about that intersectionality from an analog area into a digital era and how the world has changed so don't shame somebody for the world they were born in that's like teasing somebody because they're they were born into poverty and you treat them like it was their fault right or you ridicule somebody for for being born rich you know like I just saw a clip of the episode of uh Fresh Prince where Carlton didn't get into the frat because he was like oh I don't want some prep school rich kid da da da da da da you know and you're somehow less black because you have affluent parents and and the crazy part is you'll shame somebody for being born and raised with means all the while spending your life trying to get the bag like make it make sense you see what I'm saying so y'all it's like stop you know what I'm saying stop your life is not you you're not better than these children so stop saying oh these new kids you raised them right so who whose fault is it oh these kids are disrespectful no they're not they just don't respect you or your kids are disrespectful or or your kids are disrespectful but like these kids they don't play like the the thing is kids don't look at adults and think you deserve respect just because you're an adult and you'll turn around and tell the kid they need to earn your respect children are people too period you know what I mean and we often forget that and some the thing is the only reason why you're an adult is because you haven't died yet it doesn't mean you've matured it doesn't mean you've grown you just got older you right yeah yeah there's some kids that are more mature than you you know yeah so I'm gonna get off my soapbox because I can go on and on about that when I get real passionate when people talk crazy about kids you know what I mean and it's like yeah there are certain things I agree with you know but by and large that can be a whole other episode in the way that we view and treat children especially when you're the one that created this world for them absolutely absolutely with that y'all this has been another episode of the crossroads we love y'all we appreciate y'all we thank you for y'all continued support we can't do this without you and as always um if you have topics or anything else that you want to cover um send it to us you know put it in the comments or send the email or whatever we love to hear from y'all um but with that we will see y'all next week and as always remember remember remember be free to be you we'll see y'all next time bye it's been the podcast and remember be free to be you